Moms, Dads, Parents 1, Parents 2, no more wrapping your kids in bubble wrap when they leave the house!
After spending 20 years analyzing the effects of hide and seek on children's psychological and physiological development, the Canadian Pediatric Society has just released new guidelines regarding the games your angels can play now!
Young children are now allowed to climb trees!
To quarrel!
To hide behind the bushes!
To ride your bike fast!
Play King of the Mountain in winter!
Yes, I know: these are dangerous games! violent! So reckless, surprising and violent!
But, according to experts who investigated this problem using microscopes, these risky and high-risk activities will be beneficial for young people!
Goodbye wake up!
After 20 years of raising baby rabbits in sterile basements, parents will be able to – finally! – Get your babies out of their cozy stuffed blankets to face them… in real life!
This means in danger!
Risk of getting hurt! To fall off their bike! To scratch your knees! To fall on a mountain of snow! To lose the battle!
Message to Quebec employers: Be patient, in 20 years you will be able to criticize your young employees without them cowering in a corner and crying!
Thanks to these new guidelines from Canadian pediatricians, they'll finally have a hard shell!
They will be able to accept cash!
They will no longer collapse at the slightest reproach or the slightest sideways glance!
Thank God! Thanks to John XXIII for the services received!
The awakening people are the ones who turned when they read this (bad) news…
Because it represents the end of their movement!
If young people start to radicalize, we will no longer need to remove Tintin and Lucky Luke from bookstore shelves to protect them!
They'll be able to read Asterix without screaming!
And it will even – who knows? – Develop…a sense of humor! Understanding the second degree!
Start sucking!
Can you imagine?
There is no longer a need to provide ambulances in front of the rooms where Guy Nantel performs, in order to care for the sensitive little rabbits!
“Marie Claire? Quick, get the stretcher ready, there's a little girl who's not feeling well because she just heard a joke about drag queens!”
Have you seen Richard?
I don't want to sound old, but… Do you know what my friends and I did when we were kids?
We made soap boxes.
Small wooden carts with bicycle wheels.
We were sitting in it and sliding down the slopes at lightning speed.
We also made bows using a wooden board, clothes peg, and rubber band.
On Saturday morning, we'd jump on our Brando-grip banana-seat bike and ride camp until dinnertime. No cell phone.
When my mother wanted to know where I was, she called Madame Tremblay. Who called Madame Villeneuve? Who called Madame Gelinas. He said to him: Oh, he is with the little neighbor playing the role of doctor down the gallery! »
It was a good time.
We laughed at each other and ate mud.
While Beau Doumage sang Pierre Huet's words, we spent three hours in an igloo.
That we had two or three guys at Jay Rondo's house.
Mistrust prevails
We have lost count of the number of coaches accused of assaulting young athletes. The result: we become paranoid.
Does this coach who hugs my son to console him for his poor performance have bad intentions or does he just care?
In schools, teachers, who have nothing to reproach themselves, now refuse to receive students into their offices for fear that they will be wrongly accused of misbehavior or that their colleagues will look at them with suspicion.
The result: Young people are less likely to trust authority figures.
Damage…
Northvolt's dilemma
Should we allow a company that helps fight pollution… to threaten biodiversity?
That's the question with Northvolt.
On the one hand, this electric battery component factory will allow us to reduce our CO2 emissions. On the other hand, its construction will lead to the destruction of wetlands.
Then what do we do? Between two evils, do we choose the lesser of them?
At QUB, former Environment Minister Daniel Breton told me that, in his view, the government was wrong to allow Northvolt to evade the BAPE process.
Because this only feeds the cynicism of the population.
It's not easy to be green in 2024…
Least bad
In the United States, left-wing activists will not vote for Biden as much as they will vote against Trump.
In Canada, left-wing activists will not vote for Trudeau as much as they will vote against Poilievre.
More and more people are voting “strategically.”
Remember the days when we voted for the best candidate, not the least bad?
To paraphrase Aznavour, I'm talking to you about a time that people under 20 (if not 40 or 50) cannot know…
“Amateur entrepreneur. Professional internet expert. Zombie maven. Incurable pop culture scholar.”
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