Go to IKEA as a couple without arguing (it's possible!)

IKEAWomen love him, men less so. When they go there it is for a very specific purpose and not to traverse up and down the store to look at the smallest vase, rug or decorative piece… The result is, when I say to my friend “Sunday suits you at IKEA? I feel like hell is approaching. I try to offer him Confo just to save us but he “IKEA is better, there are more options,” he calmly replies. “That's the problem, my dear.”

1. Take action to avoid “I told you it didn't fit”

Since it was agreed – we would go there on Sunday – I decided to prepare for our trip. There is no doubt that the couple will not survive. I start by taking out the measuring device hidden in a box. My friend looks at me in amazement: What are you doing? So I move my meter around every nook and cranny of the apartment. I He scribbles in a notebook a plan worthy of a great architect – something that cannot be measured at all – and attach very small and precise numbers to it. Thus, we will not avoid the classical exchange: “I'm telling you it doesn't fit. Whatever it is, I'm telling you it fits large.” My notes will be there for you to decide.

2. I start looking through the catalog because we never have the same tastes

Thanks to ikea catalog online, You can walk around the store and above all put your favorite things aside. When I turn 70, I pass the tablet to my friend. Problem: Adds too many products and we have nothing in common. I feel prepared: if the argument now gets so bad, he'll save us from coming out in public. We dismantle the furniture one by one. My friend told me that “green is ugly for a wardrobe,” that “duvet covers with birds are old-fashioned,” or even that “today's eyeglasses are useless.” So I discovered his selection made of very ordinary furniture. We find a compromise: if the furniture is simple, it will be a duvet cover with small birds. He kisses quietly and gives me a little: I survived!

3. Expect a budget to avoid discomfort at checkout

To have peace of mind at IKEA, it's in your best interest to talk budget. So I asked my friend how much he was willing to spend on furniture. And I hear: We each buy our own things, that way if we break up, We know what belongs to whom. In addition to not answering my question, it's annoying me. We're here to build a cocoon, and he's already talking about tearing it down. He likes my silence and understands that I was waiting for a personality and not a genius idea to organize the breakup. So we ended up agreeing on a global amount. The total amount is divided into two parts. And he wins: we will each buy our own furniture, which is wise. Toss him: I survived! I call my mother to tell her.

4. In position, start gaining strength

It's Sunday, we arrive at IKEA. We start with a trip to a Swedish food store. a Suede pack And then – which is really 0.05% of the bill that awaits us – we each brought a small pen (which I will keep for the memories). I also measure the paper.

5. Keep calm without changing your proposals

My man looks at the sofa convinced it won't fit in the apartment. Proud of myself, I waved my notebook, which immediately ended the discussion: This sofa works. I am satisfied and the adventure continues. The secret for an optimist like me is to think before you speak. I do not reject his ideas Invite him to argue. I ask him like this: Oh, do you think it'll be okay? But how do you see the carpet in these cases? I'm very gentle, and I push him to bring out the best in himself. I never accuse him of being bad I simply tell him “I don't like it” if he can't convince me. Psychologists are right “You” kill.

6. Make the moment fun

The tone rises slightly in front of the curtains. He wants them opaque to sleep better, I just want them pretty. And if IKEA has it all, there is no compromise. When he starts to get upset because “sleep is essential,” I invite him to tour the furniture empire. We meet in the kitchen and plan our daily lives. Five minutes of comedic cooking in three different kitchens We remember that we are here for one thing: to build a comfortable nest. The tension calms down, especially when I tell him I cook McDonald's.

7. Coming home: Assemble the furniture

We take all our purchases out of the truck and, with great enthusiasm, begin the process of assembling the furniture (another source of crisis). Because in the face of notice, We never agree. Because there is always someone who thinks they understand better than the other. To avoid the slightest problem, I suggest it Separate the work: Everyone has their own furniture. I've always been very comfortable with screwdrivers. We work in different areas, and when I hear a complaint from him, I follow the golden rule: I don't interfere and I let him manage it on his own. Two pieces of furniture are built further, and we sink into the bed. What do we eat?